What I Seek Is Seeking Me

I saw a deer this morning on my run around the neighborhood with my dog, Edie. It’s the first one I’ve seen in awhile, the first one I’ve seen in our neighborhood in years, and one that I know was bringing me a message. Back in my days in the corporate world, I used to see them all the time. I would actually play a game of counting deer when I ran through the Carolina Beach State Park. It was not uncommon for me to see up to 10 deer during my short morning runs. I didn’t know back then that they were making themselves appear to me for a reason.

As I explored more into the world of holistic healing and eventually opened Island Wellness, I learned not only about the power of herbs and natural remedies, but also about the power of communion with nature. Island Wellness has introduced me to some pretty amazing people who have guided me to study more about energy and nature and have opened my eyes to the magic and miracles surrounding us every day. During a casual conversation a couple of years ago, one of my customers introduced me to animal messages. I was telling her how I always used to see deer but I never saw them anymore. She explained that I used to see them all the time because they had a message for me, and the deer’s message was “be gentle with yourself.” It made so much sense. I saw the deer, numerous deer, all the time, at a time in my life when I was pushing myself too hard, over stressed, unhappy, and damaging my body and spirit. The deer were there urging me to take it easy, to be open to new adventures, and to trust my instincts to find my way out of a difficult situation. I had no idea at the time, but I followed their guidance, instinctually I guess. I took a risk, walked away from the job that was sucking the life out of me, and began to pursue my newfound passion. And the deer disappeared. I would run the same path through the park at the same time of day, at the same time of year, and not one single deer would show up. They weren’t drawn to me anymore. Their message had been received.

Today, the deer returned. Edie, who is cautiously curious about everything, but an excitable hunter at heart, stood still beside me as the deer came into view. We were both in awe. She looked at each of us, and then held her gaze on me. I said “hello” and smiled. I asked her if she had a message for me. She took a few steps closer, looking ahead only for a moment and then returning her eyes to me. The three of us stood there on the edge of the street for what seemed like eternity. I was speaking softly to both Edie and the deer. We all seemed to be enamored with each other, not wanting the interaction to end. It was surreal. It was magical. It was a silent conversation between hearts. While some cynics might say she was only there to enjoy a nice breakfast from my neighbor’s new garden, I know it was more than that. She took a few more gentle steps, keeping her eyes on me, before turning to the wooded marsh. Edie started barking and pulling and wanting to chase. The moment was gone, but the message was received. Be Gentle With Yourself. After the trauma of the last year and still so much uncertainty for the future, I’ve been frustrated by my lack of clarity. How do I move forward when I don’t know where I want to go? Fear keeps knocking. My ego begs to open the door. My soul whispers to let it go. Impatient and indecisive, I’ve been worrying about worrying. The deer came to me today and held my attention just long enough for me to get the message. Move gently. Follow your curiosity. Trust your instincts. The path may not be well marked, but it is there. Stop thinking so hard about what to do or which way to go. Drop your awareness into the seat of your soul. Close your eyes. Breathe deeply. Trust the process, and you’ll know what to do to find your way.  

Amy SawyerComment